Goals - Michele Normand

For this testing year I made 6 goals for myself.  How did they go?  Let's take a look...

Goal #1 - Develop and grow a Kickboxing class with KJM Jeremy

I absolutely LOVE kickboxing and I made this goal with so much excitement and enthusiasm!  What I didn’t see although I love it, I wasn’t ready.  I didn’t have enough knowledge, enough teaching experience or enough confidence to take on such a challenge.  KJN and I did start an exercise class where we incorporate kickboxing and we have stuck to it for 2 years now but a full kickboxing class that hasn’t happened! I have been researching on the internet and watching videos from places that offer kickboxing.  I have learned that they not only punch and kick but incorporate exercises off the bags which is something we already do during our kickboxing week at DMA. Then there is the marketing piece to get people there or would it be something I incorporated during kickboxing week at the studio?  It is a work in progress.  I know my lack of confidence held me back, afraid of failure. I have personally changed so much this past testing year.  I am more confident now and have had the opportunity to develop some workouts for our kickstart class.  I’m not giving up on this goal.  I have made a goal to develop one 45-minute workout to music by February 2020.

Goal #2 – CRY - During the time it takes to achieve your goal you carry around emotional and physical pain, you hold back the tears and just keep moving forward no matter how hard it gets. You keep the door to your emotions and physical pain shut, because if you let it open, you know that you would give up.  When all your hard work is validated, you’re finally free to just let go and relax. The sea of emotions that you built up, all come flooding in at the same time and you cry.

This goal has happened in an emotional way on May 11, 2019 the day I checked off goal number 4 to break a brick. The door to the emotional pain I had been harboring for 10 months, irrational worries and fears released just moments before I attempted the break.  My eyes welled up with tears as I imagined those emotions sitting there on top of that brick. I then envisioned on the other side of that brick, trust in my ability to handle life's painful experiences and resilience for moving through life’s challenges.

 M physical cry I was hoping would come during a workout that challenged me beyond what I thought I could do but instead it came from a physical injury that has kept me from training at the 110% I strive to train at.  The Tendonitis I have been dealing with in my right elbow has felt like being shackled and chained, unable to do what I want and should be able to do. My life centers around training, full out training but lately I have had to pull back so I can heal.  The physical pain has made me cry for what I have not been able to do and the feeling that I am not in the shape I expected to be in at this point of the test because of it. 

Goal #3 – Improve my flexibility (possibly being able to do the splits)

Due to dealing with Piriformis muscle issue in my left glute this goal is still in progress. I worked with a massage therapist and a chiropractor to get it healed but then I started having issues with tendonitis and the Piriformis syndrome took a back seat.  It bothers me and doesn’t allow me the flexibility in my left leg.  I did however ALMOST get into a right leg split!  I’m so close!  This was an important goal to me because as we age our joint movement becomes stiffer, we lose lubricating fluid inside our joints and ligaments tend to shorten making our joints feel stiff.  There are so many health benefits to stretching.  It is important for posture, helps with balance and stability, provides greater mobility and it increases blood flow and energy levels.  I will continue to make flexibility a focus in my life.

Goal #4 – Break a brick!

Goal #4 was to break a brick.  On the Thursday before the big day KJN Jeremy worked with our team on the technique of breaking.  Stacking up four shields he taught us foot placement, the importance of twisting our bodies and allowing all our physical weight to drop into the strike.  At one point he went to the back room and carried out a concrete paver we would be breaking and set it on top of the stack of shields.  My goal was to break that?!  What was I thinking?  For the next 24 hours it was all I could think about.  Would I break it?  Could I break it?  Was I going to injure myself breaking it?  Am I crazy to try this?  WHAT AM I DOING???!!!!!!!!!  Saturday May 11th, we celebrated DMS's 2-year birthday and during that celebration the black belt candidates and support team were going to do their breaking.  When it was time for brick breaking, I hear "Michele you are up first." WHAT???!!!  The team got the brick set up.  I walked up to it got in position and looked back at KJN Jeremy and he said to me "Whenever you are ready.  Just take some deep breaths and whenever you are ready, you go." I had the support of my once in a lifetime kind of people all around me. In that moment it became not about concrete brick in front of me but about leaving the pain of the past behind me and freeing myself to live the future ahead of me.  Was I nervous?  Yes.  Was I uncertain?  Yes. I stood up, wiped off my hand and as I leaned back over that brick, tears welling up in my eyes I flashed back to a self-defense birthday party I helped with. KJN Jeremy had all the birthday goers write on one side of a board they were about to break a challenge in their life and on the other side the outcome of overcoming that challenge. I pictured written on that brick "In order to be free, you must learn how to let go.  Release the hurt.  Release the doubt. Release the fear. Refuse to hold onto old pain" and on the other side of that brick the words "CONFIDENT AND FREE".  That broken brick will forever have a place in my flower bed, a forever reminder that it’s pieces were not about an act of breaking a concrete object but about the doubt in myself, the team that encouraged me, the teacher that believed in me, the pain and fear I overcame and the confidence and freedom I gained.

Goal #5 – Continue to attend, learn and grow from my anxiety classes.

Accomplished 😊.   In April I graduated from my anxiety class!  Do I still get anxious?  YES, but I have learned skills to keep my anxiety in check.  I am better at Fact-checking my thoughts.  Instead on fixating on worst case scenarios I work to rethink my fears and train my brain to come up with rational ways to deal with my anxious thoughts.  I take a moment to Breathe (part of my affirmation) to help calm down and re-center my brain.  If I can’t get my brain in check, I will call my mom, and she helps bring me back from my racing thoughts.  I now use an app on my phone that I can challenge the thoughts and fears I might be experiencing.  Life is so much calmer for me now.  I can take on situations and challenges I would not have before reaching out for help.   Could I have a setback, yes.  A situation may arise that throws my brain into fight or flight mode but am I going to worry about it? No, I’m going to continue to use the skills I have learned and not worry about what MIGHT happen.

Goal #6 – Touch base daily with one family member or friend to check in, say hi and let them know I am thinking of them.

Goal number 6 for me was to touch base daily with one family member or friend.   I would consider this goal accomplished.  Although I did miss some days of touching base there were days when I reached out more than one time a day. I also added to my goal reaching out to those I work with.  I have reached out to clients to tell them how much I appreciate working with them.  I have emailed companies I purchase products from to let them know that I value their service.  I have reached out to family members that I knew were struggling to say, “I’m here if you need me” or “call me anytime day or night if you need to talk”.   It has made a huge impact on my life.  My clients love working with me, my suppliers go above and beyond to help when I need it because they know I appreciate them.  I have been told from friends how much my attention has helped them through some tough times and they in turn have been so supportive in my life.  My family relationships are stronger. It has made me happy knowing I made someone’s day with such a simple act. I will continue to reach out daily because this has proven to me that some of the most precious treasures, we have in life are our relationships with other people.

Michele Normand

1st Degree Black Belt Canidate