A Day After "That Moment" - Michele Normand

Yesterday I had "That Moment" that I wrote about in my last blog.  Today after sleeping on "That Moment" I woke up different.  Different then I had ever in my life woken up after a "That Moment".  I took a look down that path that I didn't want to go down. The one that I had dug my heels into and took my first step forward.  I had to and I did it with the confidence to fight whatever this path threw at me.  For the first time in my life I am the one that is strong, the one that they are looking to for strength. Today I said to my family  "It's ok to show your feelings and it's ok to let him show his.  He needs to know it's ok to be human, to let his emotions be what they are so he can work through them just as we are working though ours.  He needs to know he doesn't have to protect us from what is. We can't change it and we have to accept it.  We don't know the outcome so why waste time on what if's, lets focus on what is." Then I had a moment with him.  I saw through the joking and laughter that was hiding the emotional pain and the confusion of  "That Moment".  I saw the uncertainty, I saw how scared he was and I experienced the change in my role in life.  A change that I am willing and confident to accept.  I looked into his eyes and said to him what he has said to me in those moments in life "Dad, I have 3 rules " #1 Never forget that you are NOT alone.  #2 If you need ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING, you ask" and #3 "Don't hide how you are feeling to protect us.  If you are scared, say it.  If you are sad, cry.  Call me ANYTIME and I will be here to listen, offer support, cry with you and laugh with you." For the first time in my life I saw his lips quiver and his eyes fill with tears. I think he realized at "That Moment" that I was strong and that he didn't have to be pretend to be ok.

 I woke up the day after "That Moment" strong and ready to take on whatever lies ahead.  All the training over this past year, the physical, emotional and mental training, the books we've read, the quotes we've memorized,  the confidence we've built, the inner strength, the discipline, the respect for life and an ability to protect it, the respect for other peoples choices and our desire to serve, the blogs, the logs, all the times we've pushed ourselves to the limit, discovering our potential and exploring what we are capable of, the loyalty and respect for our training, teammates and teacher, the paths we have traveled not knowing what to expect, accepting what is and fighting through the struggles along the way has forever changed me and for that I am forever grateful.

Comments

  1. Lia London, authorOctober 19, 2019 at 3:59 PM

    I can't even tell you how much I love you and how meaningful this post is. We're both going through this at the same time, and your words of strength are a balm to my soul. It really is okay to feel and be vulnerable. We can just be there in the moment with its reality and not have to worry about what image we project. Just be. LOVE YOU!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. AmiMinorOctober 20, 2019 at 9:39 PM

    You are strong, powerful and can do anything. It's hard in the moment and when all we can think of is the hardship, negativity, and loss, know that we are here for ALWAYS! I mean it! Please reach out when you are in need, you are not a burden , we are one big family who is always here for one another.

    You can do this, I believe in you ! <3

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Blog #14 - 30 Day Ab Challenge: A Matter of Grit - SBN Samantha

A couple months ago, we were asked to complete the 30 Day Ab Challenge by KJN Jeremy.  I started off strong, but puttered out during the final 10 days, and all the progress I made on a stronger core just kind of went out the window.  So, I'm starting again, today.  The reason I'm writing about this has to do with self-discipline and fitness; it's a constant battle.  I have this tendency to start something with fervor and zeal, and then lose my motivation somewhere along the way.  While reading Grit, I've discovered that I don't think I have that much Grit...at least not when it comes to working out. 😂  I'm just not that passionate about exercise, and I think that's why martial arts became such an important part of my life.  I am passionate about learning and developing myself, and that's what martial arts is to me; it just happens to improve fitness as well! Thinking about the 30 Day Ab Challenge with this in mind, I have decided to focus on the w...
Read more

Minor, Ami - The Interview

A couple weeks ago I received an email from the reporter of our local newspaper asking if they could do a feature on me. This caught me by surprise because a lot of the work I do is in the background/behind the scenes and not many people notice or know about what I do. Or at least I don't think they do... I don't work for the recognition, or to be commended, or for the money really, I work for the experience and the sheer fact that I enjoy what I do. My work is not your everyday Joe's work, but quite the opposite, my job consists of improvising, adapting and overcoming. I make whatever I have work, and show the clients that though I am a student, I am just as capable of getting the job done as any other person.  When it came to the actual interview, I was beyond nervous and unsure, but lucky me, the reporter was the nicest person ever and made it feel like a normal conversation not an interview. I can't wait to see the article and how it turned out.  - Ami Minor 201...
Read more

Never Forget - Michele Normand

The other day I went on Facebook.  As you may know Facebook will often show pictures of your memories from years past.  The memory that showed up was a picture from the last night of the closing of our previous studio. In the picture we were all sweaty from our last ever workout together.  I remember the tears, the hugs goodbye, and not wanting to leave so the doors couldn't be closed. We couldn't stop what was going to happen though many of us would have done anything to keep what we had come to know and love for years alive.  I remember standing outside when the the lights were turned out and the doors were locked never to open again.  I felt so lost.  I had spent 12 years with this family, my son grew up in that studio, there were so many happy times, great friends, amazing instructors and just like that...GONE.  For me the first year after the closer life was so empty, we lost our home.  Master McWilliams was so amazing, he committed to put to...
Read more